The Doctors Orders
Lots of people are asking me whatever happened to the old fat Peter Noone of the early 21st century, and I am here to tell you that I put him on a diet. A simple diet that anyone can do without spending a load of money on special food in packets that tastes like talcum powder.
All Peter Noone had to do was forego the 7 Almond Joys he ate whenever he was staying in a hotel and they had sold all the `Snickers out of that machine that they put on the floor near your room, so you can sneak out of your room in your undies and hope you are not accidentally locked out and have to go to the lobby and try to get a new room key without an ID.
I made him drink lots of water, so he had to do lots of walking to and from the bathrooms of the Western Hemisphere and on the plane.
All his meals had to exclude bread, potatoes,no sugar, anything white, and no dessert. Even deserts made out of bread,potatoes and sugar were off limits.